Subject: The men in my fiancé’s family
Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m engaged to a man that is 11 years my junior. I’m 42 years old and he jokes that his father is only 6 years older than I am. It’s odd that I was attracted to him because I met him with his dad and his dad was laying it on thick. I was drawn to my fiancé because he was cool and laid back. I am very close to my fiancé’s mother and she has two sons by her husband. When we’re all together, my fiancé and his 2 younger brothers, we’re a big happy family. When his dad joins into the mix, drama occurs. He and my fiancé’s mother have been at odds for years because he didn’t want to be with her. Simple as that. They had my fiancé when they were in high school and broke up when my fiancé was 10 years old. Hey stuff happens, but now he wants that old thing back and she’s not having it. My background is in counseling so I try to mediate their arguments, but they get pretty bad. Over the weekend, we all got together for my future mother-in-law’s son’s graduation and I don’t know why my fiancé’s dad showed up, but he did. Her husband stepped to him and said it’s not his son and he appreciated the graduation gift, but he isn’t a part of the family and should stop popping up. They had words and it got loud. My fiancé’s dad finally told the husband that he was going to get his girl back, no matter what. I recorded the altercation on my phone because I was recording the graduation. I gave the video to my future mother-in-law and she used the video to get a restraining order on my fiancé’s father, saying he’s a threat. My fiancé and his dad are furious with me. I did not intend for this to happen. All I did was share the video. How is this my fault and how do I fix it?