Dear Steve and Shirley,
My husband and I decided early on against having children. We have a great social life, and our house is still the go-to hangout spot for our friends. He's 61, and I'm 59, and we've made our marriage work for 27 years.
Last year, I found out he was cheating. His lover kept calling his phone over and over, so I told him to handle it. He told me that he did. I decided not to stress about it because there was nothing I could do to stop him from cheating, and I wasn’t ready to leave him and be alone. So, I didn’t ask any questions. He did all he could to show me how remorseful he was for cheating, and I was just happy our friends didn’t find out, so I wouldn’t have to deal with the embarrassment and stress.
But my girlfriends knew about it all along and didn’t say a word—until recently. We had a kickback at the house, and a group of my girls were there. When my husband left to buy more ice, they cornered me. One of my closest friends asked why my husband is always out without me. I asked why she was bringing this up in front of everyone, and I assured her that my husband is always home. Another friend said they knew for a fact that wasn’t true. They told me my husband has been sleeping with the woman who lives behind us for over a year, and he gets away with it because I let him.
They tried to tell me more about the woman, but I stopped them. I really don’t care about her. I'm more upset that my friends now know what’s going on. I'm still not prepared to leave my comfortable life with my husband, but I’m concerned about how people perceive me. Should I have some dignity and finally confront my husband?